John Doe
by J.A. Carlton
Summary: Without a hint of memory of who he is, Dean is left to the integrity of his nature and the guidance of his little brother in the hopes that together they can return knowledge of who he is and all he's been through to the hunter. Warverse Compliant.
1. Chapter 1

John Doe – spn fic chpt 1

By: sifi

Disclaimed – I wouldn't own them, just keep them happy.

Loved – my heart breaks.

OOooOO

Excerpted from: No Good Deed

Then:

"Well if you don't recognize it directly then it's a pretty safe bet it went after you out of revenge." Sam sighed.

"Revenge? What'd I ever do to him?" Dean asked then checked his volume and looked back at the empty bleachers. "Uh no."

"You killed one of its kin Dean... that djinn a couple years ago... remember?" Sam asked then noted his brother's expression, "What?" he followed the older man's line of sight to the empty bleachers and felt his heart skip a beat. _Laura._

"She's gone," Dean turned but was caught by Sam's grip.

"Son of a bitch." He snarled, "There might be others." He glanced quickly around then pressed the gun back into Dean's hand before pointing toward the doors and nodding a go-ahead.

Taking a moment Dean grabbed the taller man by the arm and stuck his right hand forward, "Look, I don't know who this _Dean _is. My name is John. John Doe, s'good to meet you."

OOooOO

NOW:

_This isn't good_, she thought as the sky outside the window turned from purple to lavender. Still, thankfully it wasn't hard to find a shadow as she turned into the darkened janitor's closet and crouched in the corner. Pain swarmed her from every angle, coupled with fear. Her chest hurt enough to make her want to scream, and her wrist pulsed and throbbed hotly between her left hand and her chest. The first thing she remembered was waking up with a hand pressed against her face. Then there was darkness. Then when she woke later there was pain and weight crushing the air from her lungs. Stars burst behind her eyes as she tried to breathe, it was almost enough to numb her enough not to feel a horrible cringing sense of vulnerability that came before a dull pressure between her legs. There was pressure and grinding burning and she knew he was pushing his fat floppy prick against her. When he couldn't get hard enough to do the job he brought his fists into play, feeding on the cries, pleas, and whimpers she couldn't keep herself from offering. Shame burned through her at the relief she felt when he finally got hard and the flying fists stopped.

Of course after he was done the bludgeon dull thumps and crushing wails and whacks that broke her in place after place started all over again. Bones cracked, her breathing caught, and when that giant man in the black leather biker jacket bent her arm back, snapping her wrist she couldn't have helped but cry out. _I wish he killed me,_ she thought finding the darkest corner possible and squeezing herself into it in spite of, or perhaps even welcoming the knife-like pain in her ribs while she gave a hint of a thought to the men who'd rescued her. _They both SEEMED nice..._ but nothing could be trusted, nothing and no one, no human could want her to be in their presence now. No man, no woman, they'd all know what'd been done to her, what happened, and no one would ever believe it wasn't her fault, that she hadn't somehow done something to deserve it. _I'll stay here and just sleep. I'll sleep until there's nothing left and then maybe ... maybe I won't BE anymore. How long does it take to die of dehydration? _

She pulled the warm dark hoodie that man had wrapped around her tight and breathed the scent deep into her and in spite of the stab in her side, comfort cradled her softly. She pulled the hem over her feet, crimped her knees deep into her chest, and pulled the hood over her head then fell into darkness.

OOooOO

"Dude, that's not funny." Sam frowned praying inside that Dean really was joking. "Please tell me you're fuckin' with my head."

The older man shook his head, "I thought... no... uh... nevermind." He shrugged flustered and motioned toward the door, "We should... go find the girl."

"The girl." Sam said, "do you know her name?" he asked.

Dean looked down to his left hand, examining the ring on his finger before shaking his head, "Uhm, not off the top of my head, no." he pulled the photo out of his pocket and handed it to the younger man who actually took the time to look at it.

"What does this mean, 'do you remember her?'?" he asked frowning deeply.

The older man shook his head and backed up a step. Sam closed the distance, his hand on his big brother's shoulders, "Dean. Talk to me. Why would someone ask you if you remember her?"

He shook his head and turned out of the younger mans' grip, "I don't..." he backed away, "I don't know, but... but I... don't."

"Don't what?" Sam asked feeling a tightening in his chest and a fuzzy light headedness numbing his brain. "Talk t'me Dean."

Big crystalline jade green eyes pleaded into his while the man's mouth tried to speak. "I... duh... I... the room... you... clothes..." he blathered, "the girl at the desk said..." he shook his head and licked his lips nervously, "Who are you?" he asked, "I mean. I have no idea who the hell you are, let alone who you might be to me."

Sam could've sworn he felt his heart fall through the floor as his knees threatened to buckle, "What?" he asked, "I'm Sam, Dean. I'm your _brother_. Please tell me you're screwing with my head dude. Please." He clutched the older man's face and delved into his eyes, "Please." He pleaded grasping his scrubs by the front and pulling him close.

Without any real emotion behind the move, Dean's arms came up breaking the younger man's grip and stepping back he warned, "Stay in your own space man."

"Dean. Listen... whatever that son of a bitch did to you, it doesn't' matter, we'll figure it out but right now we have to find Laura okay? She's hurt, and she's hurting, if the Ifrit fucked with your head enough that you don't know me you gotta know just one thing." He looked deep into his brother's eyes, "we have to help her. We have to find her and help her."

Dean looked down at his ring finger on his left hand, "She's my wife?" he asked.

Sam rolled his eyes and then his head on his neck, "We _both_ love her." He nodded, "and she loves _us_."

"We have rings..." Dean held up his hand.

"It's... complicated." Sam grumbled, _what the HELL are you doing! _He wondered angrily but didn't attempt to explain. After all, what could be more complicated than trying to explain to your brother who just found out that he's bound to a woman you happened to think you're in love with. _Yeah, it's complicated alright. I never felt this way before Lilith got her hands on me, I never felt this way until that fucking bitch raped me up one side and down the other... and to know the host is still out there and still pregnant... _

"Complicated? I don't see a ring on _your_ finger!"

Sam rolled his eyes, "You're _not_ married Dean! There was no judge, no priest, no... anyone okay? You put a ring on her finger and put one on your own that's IT! Now can we please go find her?"

The older man frowned, obviously troubled by this revelation. Sam sighed, "Look, you're crazy in love with each other, that's the truth. When it comes to you both, that's the only thing that ever mattered, the rings," he shrugged, "you had a friend make them for you. You never needed a priest or a judge or... anyone." He explained haltingly.

Dean's eyes narrowed at the younger man _he loves her, should I step back?_ "I don't remember loving her. Why don't I remember anything? You called him an 'it'." He pointed toward the Ifrit's corpse. "What aren't you telling me?"

"A lot. We don't have time for it right now. I'm guessing Laura's not remembering anything either or she never would have... she doesn't..." he shook his head and pulled his cell, dialing automatically.

"Do you think he did it?" Dean asked.

"That's what we're going to find out." He held up his finger, "Bobby? Sam. I've got another problem you got a sec?" he nodded then explained the situation while watching Dean move closer to the corpse, examining it carefully and wondering if the sight of it would spark a memory. "Not a damned thing. Not me, not Laura, hell he thinks his name is John Doe. Anything you can find out would be good." He nodded again, "So far okay, I mean he's still Dean it's not his nature that's changed just, he's like a clean slate man, wouldn't know a ghost if it moved through him y'know?" he drew a breath and sighed, "We think the same thing happened to Laura, it's a long story but she didn't recognize either of us. An Ifrit yeah. It's dead, it had a crony... not sure exactly what he was, maybe a ghoul?" he shrugged then felt the corners of his mouth turn down, "Really? So he might've just been a guy under its control? Great, yeah well he's dead too. Course he deserves it if he did what I think he did... yeah to her... you don't wanna know." He shrugged and sighed again, "I think so, what I DO know is the son of a bitch beat the crap out of her. Couple cracked or broken ribs, he broke her wrist... there were bruises everywhere Bobby."

Dean felt his mouth turn down as he listened intensely to Sam's side of the conversation while inspecting the Ifrit's face. _Wow, I can hear it in his voice. If neither of us remembers each other why shouldn't he... cause it's not right! A guy doesn't go after another guy's girl it's that simple! There's gotta be a rule about it or something. But if we don't remember why we love each other then can we still feel that way? This is too much, I can't handle this right now. We just need to find her, get the hell out of here and to somewhere safe where we can figure this out. _Grasping the creature by the chin he frowned deeply at it, "Did you do this to us? How do we un-do it?" he muttered then returned to the taller man just as he was hanging up. "You ready now?" he asked.

Sam nodded, "Bobby's gonna look into it, see what he can find out about powers attributed to Ifrits."

Dean nodded then as they turned toward the door, "What's an Ifrits?"

Sam shook his head and smirked, "It's a type of djinn, well genie."

"What like that chick in the harem pants? Mmm she was just..."

"Yeah," Sam nodded smiling wryly, recalling Dean saying almost exactly the same thing back in Illinois, "your nature is still the same."

"Is that good? Cause I kinda like the idea of being a good guy y'know? I don't feel like a bad guy."

Sam nodded and clapped him on the shoulder, "Yeah, you're a good guy Dean."

"And genie's really exist? Do they really grant wishes?" he asked then watched something sad cross the younger man's features.

"Depends on how you look at it," he shook his head, "we have to get your memory back."

OOooOO

Tbc.

Please R&R

Thanks.

Sifi.


	2. Chapter 2

John Doe – chpt 2.

By: sifi.

OOooOO

"Anything yet?" Dean asked using his phone like a walkie as he entered the darkened classroom and scanned the emptiness quickly.

"Nothing."

"This place is huge Sam, how the hell are we supposed to find one little woman in here? She could be anywhere!" he sighed.

Sam closed his eyes and breathed deep, "Look in small places, closets, cubbies, the bathroom stalls, under sinks, or teachers desks." He suggested then explained, "If he did what I think, she'll want to crawl into a dark dank hole and never come out."

"What? Why? How would you know?" he stopped and frowned, "You don't think he...?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Is that what happened in Chicago? Someone..." he swallowed hard, "you know."

On the other end Sam opened a door and the line went down.

"Sam?" Dean asked.

"I found her. Janitor's closet on the first floor by the North wall." And then he was gone.

Sam opened the door again, propped it and sat down on the threshold. After a thoughtful moment he began to speak.

"I'm pretty sure you're not gonna believe me, but I really do know exactly how you feel. Let's start with filthy. Humiliated doesn't even _hint_ at it. You feel like everyone knows or is gonna know, like it's all anyone's ever gonna see whenever they look at you. In fact you'd rather no one ever saw you again." He watched carefully as her head tilted upward, a sliver of bruised alabaster told him he had her attention. "And to make matters even worse I bet you don't even know your own name." The sliver shrank and grew as she shook her head. "It's Laura. Laura Finnegan. I'm Sam, the other guy's my brother Dean. We're family, we came here to find you and bring you home." He stopped when the sliver disappeared, covered once again by the hood.

"You need a safe place to rest, with people who can protect you. That's us." He pressed his head backward, the pain in his chest and heart shooting up and down as tears gathered in the corners of his eyes, "If you look at your left hand you'll see a ring, it's a kind of weird ruby smoky silver color. Dean wears its... mate." He cleared his throat quickly hoping to cover the cracking of his voice.

In the back of the closet something moved. Hope filled Sam until he realized she'd simply pushed something out of the way so she could lay on her side. He looked up at the curious and pained expression on his big brother's face. _He heard me, he still doesn't remember but now he knows... again. I wish I could forget. Maybe he'd be... maybe they'd _both_ be better off if we just didn't even try to get their memories back. _He looked into the closet, _without her memories, her knowledge... _he shook his head,_ the Laura I know would be able to walk right out of what that bastard did like shedding a skin. This one, _he sighed,_ she doesn't have the coping skills to leave this behind. But Dean, he deserves a chance to live a normal life and he could start that. No more djinn's or demons or devils. Would there be someone else to step up to the plate and take out Lucifer if he doesn't get his memory back or will Castiel interfere? What'll hurt the least?_ He wondered. "Dean's here, I'm gonna let you guys talk a little." He rolled to his feet and motioned to the closet.

Dean's eyes widened with uncertainty as he shook his head, "I don't know what to say."

Sam shook his head, frustration flaring to life in his heart, "Just sit down... you don't need to say anything, it's fucking natural with you two." He pulled his cell phone, "I'm gonna call Bobby again," and walked a ways down the hall leaving his big brother looking like a deer in the headlights.

"Sam says you don't remember anything," he began after lowering himself cross-legged into the doorway, "I don't either. He says my name's Dean and yours is Laura. He says we're brothers, uhm him and me that is not you cause well you're not a guy," he stammered then cleared his throat, "sorry, I just, I don't know what to say y'know? And I don't wanna scare you or hurt you or anything. He was right though, we did come here to help you. I got a picture at my motel room and it had the address on it." He pulled it from his pocket and held it toward her, "and I had to come. It felt like the right thing to do y'know?" He watched her head tilt up and felt her gaze touch him. "Y'know there's a spare bed in my room, it's gotta be more comfortable than the floor, and at least a little cleaner, and a lot warmer. You could rest and we'll watch over you. We won't let anyone hurt you." He felt the edges of his lips turn up as she looked at him. "That's a promise."

He sat quietly listening to her breathing, the rasping wheezy sounds different from the occasional whimper or gasp as some pain or other flared up. He leaned a little to the side and caught her eyes, "Ribs hurt?"

She nodded.

"Yeah, your breathing doesn't sound too good." He leaned forward, "It looked like your arm was hurt too?"

She nodded.

He nodded then motioned toward her, "Can I come a little closer?"

She froze and turned her face away.

"Okay, I'll stay here. Look, I really don't know what's going on here but Sam sounds like he does," He looked behind him and waved the younger man to him, "and though I honestly, really DON"T know... I betcha he could help with your ribs and probably wrap your arm too."

"...yeah, thanks Bobby." He nodded then slid the phone back into his pocket and crouched next to Dean with a peek in at Laura. "Got some not so good, maybe not so bad news."

"Not so good, _maybe _not so bad? Dean asked.

"From what Bobby could find out so far, Ifrits have stronger abilities to manipulate their victim's minds. The way a djinn, like the one that captured you a couple years ago 'grants wishes' is by keeping its victim in an altered state of consciousness that makes them believe their wish has come true. In effect keeping the victim docile while it feeds over a period of days." He explained peering around the corner to see if Laura was responsive at all. Her head was tilted and she was looking at them both.

"I've been captured by one of them before?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, you killed it, that's..." he stopped short and shook his head, "a standard djinn of lore though." He covered. They were trying to get Laura to trust them, and to come out of her own accord, if she came to the conclusion that what'd been done to her was in retaliation for something Dean had done two years ago, she might never trust either of them, especially not in her current frame of mind. _And Dean like this might not be able to handle knowing it either._

"But this guys' an Ifrits right?"

"Ifrit. Singular, they're higher up on the djinn ladder. They can incinerate the bodies of their victims with just a touch, which is how you got the burns you have," he explained, "they can also use their touch to steal the will of their victims, effectively cutting off their ability to fight or resist, which is how it got its hands on both of you." He looked from Dean to Laura and back, "You're both fighters. Laura, you were taken from your motel room in the middle of the night. You were both put down at the same time, the only thing is it actually _took _her." He looked at Dean, "It left you. By the time you could move enough to call our room and tell me what happened you were..." he shook his head, "blaming yourself for not being able to stop it. Nothing you could have done would have stopped it Dean. Nothing." He assured.

By this time Laura had pushed herself back up into a seated position and had turned, looking between the two as the younger man continued.

"Here's where it gets interesting. It seems that Ifrits have the ability to not just manipulate the consciousness of their victims, it could've made you believe you were a judge at the Miss America pageant," he smiled at Dean, "but if it had wanted to, it could've made you believe you were a contestant too."

"So it was that guy that stole our memories?" Dean asked.

"Apparently. And it's likely that the other guy, the one in the biker jacket," he looked in at Laura and watched her face turn down, "was just a tool."

"Why?" she whispered from the dark.

Sam shook his head, "It's what things like that do. Other than that who can say?" he shrugged then looked at Dean and back to her, "Dean's right. I can help you wrap those ribs and that wrist. There's a tub in the motel and a spare bed. We'll watch over you while you rest."

"So is that all the not so good or maybe not so bad information?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugged then looked in on the woman. Dean looked from Sam to her then reached out his left hand, "Please come out."

She shook her head but wrapped her good hand around a narrow pipe anchored to the wall to brace herself as she rose to her knees and in the attempt to stand up, lost her grip tripping forward smacking her head on the cinderblock wall. Dean was up in a flash, his arms closing around her, holding her to him before she could fall.

His touch set of a furious bout of struggling and panic. She twisted and writhed but his grip never faltered and he never tried to pin her. His aim was to keep her from hurting herself or him and see if she could exhaust the fear. He was acting purely on instinct, just as he'd been doing since he woke up, _things are working out pretty well so far... I mean, considering how fucked up this whole thing is. _"I gotcha," he soothed, "it's okay, it's okay. I'm not gonna hurt'cha, neither's anyone else." He could've sworn his teeth would start chattering for how hard she was shaking, he looked at Sam, the pain on his face somehow easily visible under the tight attempt at a smile. Slowly she settled down, wheezing between the occasional gasp. In the light gray of mid morning they could both see that her lips were pale, dry and peeling and in his arms Dean could feel her skin rasping dryly.

"Sam, you got any water?" he asked nervously, her entire body thumping fast and hard in time with her heartbeat.

She gasped, her eyes wide and panicked, looking from Dean's to Sam's, "Can't... breathe... help..."

Sam turned running down the hall to the nearest fountain, "Water's off... I'll be right back." He called then jogged toward the car.

"S'okay, just calm down, focus on breathing nice and easy," but it was too late, the woman in his arms was out cold.

OOooOO

Terse harsh whispers fluttered into her ears. There was something soft beneath her and the smell was different. _No motion. Where did they take me?_

"She needs a hospital! You said she got taken 3,"

"Four now."

"Four days ago, people don't live without water! Not to mention her wrist, and the ribs and...the other... if that son of a bitch did what... she needs meds and tests."

"The guy who did it is dead. Yes she needs preventative meds, and a whole slew of tests, but she needs to get her head in a place where she can deal with all that first. If we can get her memory back..."

"You said with the Ifrit dead neither one of us..."

"I know what I said, but Bobby's looking into other ways, the information might still be in there."

"You mean like hypnosis or something?"

"Maybe," Sam shook his head, "point is, if she knew who she was she'd be much better equipped emotionally to handle this." He sighed heavily, "She's _strong _Dean. The woman she is understands that ass holes like that do what they do out of a need for power. She wouldn't take it personally."

"You're talking about Chicago again aren't you?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded. "She didn't tell either of us, she just handled it... you were pissed, supremely pissed but she was trying to protect you. It's how she is. She doesn't take a breath without thinking about how it's going to affect you first. Or me." _There's nothing that she wouldn't or hasn't done for you, or for us. Shit Dean she's DIED for us! She risked never being able to come back just because it was what WE needed! God don't you GET IT!_

Dean ran his hand through his hair and grasped the younger man by the arm, drawing him across the room, "You said I killed one of those things once, that that _thing _came after me out of revenge," he pointed to the woman on the bed, "did it do this to her because of me?"

Sam's refusal to speak was almost enough. He grabbed the younger man by the jacket, his fists wanting to tear and mangle and rage, "Tell me the truth!" he pleaded desperately.

"Most likely." Sam's head bowed forward.

Dean shook his head, "It's not right," and backed away scrubbing his face with his hand, "that's NOT RIGHT!" he roared.

"S'a lot of things in our lives that aren't right," Sam stood beside him and motioned to the woman, "but her? For you she makes it closer to right than it'd ever get otherwise."

"And look what I did... LOOK WHAT I CAUSED!" he railed turning to the back of the room and throwing his fist through the first layer of wall.

On the bed Laura pushed herself up. Beneath the hoodie her ribs were bound snugly with two layers of a wide sturdy wrap, as was her right wrist and forearm. As she swung her legs over the edge she looked at the jeans covering her and smiled. Across the room her eyes fell on the two men, the shorter of them looking agonized.

"It's not your fault." she said softly.

They turned their eyes to her, Sam moving quickly to her side while Dean held back, shame and anger vying for space on his face.

"Feeling a little better?" he asked handing a bottle of water to her, "Go easy on it, we don't know how long its been since you had any." He pointed to the overnight bag he'd brought from where they'd lost her, "All your stuff's in there."

Dean brought a chair over and sat before her, "You're going to need to consider going to a hospital or a doc in the box or something."

Kneeling on the floor Sam rubbed her knee gently, "We can take you after you get some rest, or we can wait till morning."

She nodded, "Thank you."

Dean pulled a sandwich off the table and handed it to her, "You must be hungry."

She looked between the men watching Sam move back to a chair at the table then open and hand over a beer to Dean and her before cracking one open himself. "You told me you're brothers? And we're family?" she asked looking at Sam who nodded.

"You were talking about imaginary creatures like they're real... how do I know you're not both crazy?"

Sam chuckled then met eyes with Dean, "I told you you both run on the same wavelength." Then turned to her and explained, "He asked the same thing in the car on the way here."

She looked down at the ring on her finger then up at Dean, and over at Sam then back to Dean, "Are we married?"

Dean shrugged, "According to him, it's kinda complicated."

"The important thing to remember is that you guys love each other." He shook his head and slid his jacket back on, his expression full of frustration, "Promise me you'll both stay here?"

Dean shrugged, "Sure. Where're you going?"

"Library," he mumbled then pointed to the cell on the nightstand, "If you go anywhere, or if Bobby calls, or if anything happens, use it. If anything happens and you can't get hold of me, call Bobby, he's in the phone book."

"Sure... is there something we can do? I mean we've got the computer, the internet..."

Sam shook his head. "No, I got it." He turned to Laura, "You get some rest," then to Dean, "You keep her safe!" he half snarled then slammed the door behind himself.

OOooOO

Tbc.

Please R&R.

Thanks.

Sifi.


	3. Chapter 3

John Doe – chpt 3.

By: sifi.

OOooOO

"He said if I couldn't get in touch with him to call you. You know what he was working on! You know what he might have been looking into..." Dean growled into the phone as the bathroom door came open. Laura strode into the room, her dripping hair tied in a pony tail, one end of the wrap for her wrist and forearm held firm in her teeth as she wrapped the limb snugly then raced a roll of paper tape around it to hold it in place.

"What's he say?" she asked as Dean held up his hand apparently answering Bobby's question first.

"Not a damned thing besides what he's told us. Look, we weren't sure this thing only had the one crony, but we got out of there just fine and... what if there were more or others? If you're really his friend you'll help me find him!" He listened for a second, tilting the phone toward the woman who listened with him. "Because he's a good guy who helped us out! What other reason should there be?!" Dean half screamed then with a gentle stroke of her hand over his back calmed himself, "Look, he said we were family, and he talked about you like you are too... help me find him." He pleaded, "I don't know! I just ... it just FEELS wrong! He should've been back by now." He breathed and squeezed his hair in his hand, "I don't know!" Then pulled the phone away, "Y'know what... to hell with you you son of a bitch, we'll find him ourselves!"

"He's not going to help?" she asked as he pocketed the phone then pulled it out again and dialed. He waited a moment and listened then pocketed it again.

"Voice mail again." He breathed, "He says he doesn't know, doesn't have any way of knowing."

Standing before him she pulled her jacket closed then pressed her palms to his chest while gazing deeply into his eyes, "He said we're family." She looped her finger into the I.D. bracelet that had been slapped onto him in the hospital, "You and me? We have a unique opportunity. Without knowing who we were we can choose who we want to be. It's kinda cool for as scary as it is." She smiled obviously intrigued by the idea, "So, who do you wanna be? Dean Winchester, or John Doe?" she asked with a wry smile.

Smirking he slid his hand into his pocket, flipped open his lock back and slit the band from his wrist.

"Dean Winchester it is." He nodded, his mouth echoing the smile that had come to hers, "It sounds way cooler."

"Yeah it does," she nodded tapping a piece of paper, "I got the address of the library off the computer, it's just a couple blocks up, we shouldn't need to take the car."

"Before we go I need to ask you something." He stopped and gently held her hand, "Do you remember us being in love?"

She smiled, "No."

He nodded with a forlorn sigh, "Me neither."

She reached up and touched his face lightly, "But I'm not afraid with you. Either of you, I mean at least not so much." She leaned forward, moving into his space and with her head next to his drew a deep breath, "I smell you and I feel different. Full, or at least not empty somehow." She moved across the room to Sam's bag and drew out one of his shirts breathing its scent deep, "Him too. I believe him when he says we're family."

"Do you love him?" Dean asked knowing it wasn't a fair question by any stretch of the imagination.

She shook her head and shrugged, "I don't know."

"I'm sorry," he shook his head grasping her shoulder gently, "that wasn't fair."

She shook her head patting his hand, "I have a feeling from what Sam was saying earlier, that a lot of what we deal with isn't fair." She stroked his arm softly, "Are you ready to go find your brother?"

Swallowing hard he nodded, "Let's go find him."

As they left the room, locking it securely behind them she faintly touched his back, _you have soft places inside that feel like they could fit me right. Would it bother you as a man to hear that? _

OOooOO

Sam leaned back, his heart pounding in his chest, his breath coming short. He pressed his head back and let his imagination run wild as warm lips closed on him, trailing a path down his belly before encompassing his aching hardness. _Oh God... _he checked a groan, his warm strong hands sliding over and through her long dark tresses, his fists clenching as he drew her back up, grasped her gently by the neck and chest then turned, pinning her against the wall, his lips at her throat, his hands finding the edges of her clothes as he sought her hills and valleys.

"God," he panted sliding his hands up her skirt, his hardness pulsed thunderously as he twined his finger around the slender elastic of her thong and pulled it aside, not even bothering to remove the garment while her mouth devoured his and she wrapped a leg around him. Her hand closed on him, the thumb stroking tantalizingly over his head, pulling his pearls out before deftly guiding him to her center.

"Yes." She gasped as he thrust deep into her, his arms holding her tight against the wall.

"Guh...Ina..." _God I love you! Ina... I'll give you anything, everything... please just let me have you. Just be for me!_ "Hm my Ina," he groaned against her throat as he thrust himself hilt deep into her. His teeth grazed her skin then nipped, and a scant second later as she groaned and writhed beneath him he bit, reveling in her body bucking and thrusting in time with him.

OOooOO

Unfortunately, physical relief wasn't enough. He grasped the barfly behind the neck and left her contentedly dazed with deep penetrating kiss before disappearing into the throngs of commuters on the early evening streets. He checked his watch, _"give 'em time to see if their natures can spark their memories." Nice Bobby, _he felt his phone vibrate again and shuddered pleasantly knowing he could go walk right back into that skeezy lounge, grab the girl again and go for another round without a second thought.

Bright but soothing greens caught his attention, drawing him back a few feet as he looked into the large picture window a blackboard on the wall declaring _Massage, $75.00 /hr. Now that's a good idea... I feel like I'm so wound up I could pop. What if their memories aren't there? What if it really literally erased them? _

"Good evening, how can I help you?" the pretty young woman smiled at him.

"I'd like an hour massage please." He handed over his credit card.

_What if Enki and Ina take the reins? _He groaned internally as his body started to respond with another fine layer of sweat and a twitch below the belt. _STOP IT! _He commanded silently. _ What if there's no way to bring Dean back? Or Laura? How will she be able to handle the effects of the last few days? Maybe without their history they won't be in love. Maybe...no. No don't even think it Sam, brother's don't do that. It'd be wrong._ He sighed to himself, _why do women have to be so dangerous? Why can't we help but love 'em? _

"Sir?" A voice broke through his thoughts from behind a nondescript wooden door. "Right this way please." A tiny blonde led him into the back, through a dim amber lit corridor lined with rooms on either side. She pointed to an open door, "Right in here sir. We'll start you face down."

He nodded closing the door behind him and quickly slipped out of his clothes. On his stomach with the sheet wedged under his hips Sam felt his muscles start to let go and his breathing begin to deepen. A moment later when she entered and began to work the warm oil into his back, he was already half asleep.

OOooOO

"I'm sorry, the gentleman you're asking about left several hours ago." The librarian shrugged.

"Do you have any idea what books he was looking for?" Laura asked.

"Or where he would have gone when he left? Did he say anything that you recall?" Dean asked.

"Sorry." She shrugged again, then headed around the desk to a cart with several books stacked on it, "but I can tell you these are the books he pulled off the shelves." She pulled four large college reference sized tomes out from the others and handed them to Laura who stood with open arms waiting to receive them.

"If you think of anything..." Dean started, his eyes falling to an empty table in the next room.

"Of course. I hate to pry but... is everything alright?" she asked.

"He's my brother, we're on vacation..."

"And he was supposed to meet us a couple hours ago. It's not like him." Laura added.

"When did he leave did you happen to notice?" Dean asked.

She seemed to stop and think for a moment before a curious frown came to her face, "Y'know I don't think he was here for more than about a half hour come to think of it."

Laura shifted the books checking the titles, "You wouldn't happen to know exactly what he was looking for or at in these would you?" she asked, fairly sure she could figure it out. One of the books was on Assyrian culture, another on Ancient creatures of myth, the third looked like a text book on memory, and the fourth was on meditation and altered states of consciousness.

"Sorry," she blushed, "I coulda watched him all night but when the boss is around, she doesn't like us to hover over our guests."

Laura smiled and nodded, "I can imagine," she handed two of the books to Dean, "thanks for your help."

"I hope he's okay." She smiled, "It' a lovely city y'know, maybe he got sidetracked by some of the sights."

"Let's hope so." Dean nodded ushering Laura to the empty table with a protective hand at her back.

"Here." Laura slid the books on mythical creatures and Assyrian cultures across the table to Dean then cracked open the book on memory quickly finding the chapter on amnesia and the different types and causes.

He spocked his eyebrow, "Djinn's or Ifrits?" he asked.

"Both."

"Both." They said together. Laura quickly turned her face downward, her heart thumping fast and her stomach twisting. As frightened as she'd initially been at the prospect of being alone with a man she didn't know, no matter _what _Sam said, she was growing quickly accustomed to his presence and found that she even enjoyed spending time with him. He was quiet and thoughtful and there was something innocent and earnest about him that just made her want to be with him. _Course I'm sure he probably just feels obligated, _"Y'know..." she looked up into his eyes then quickly away, the thumb of her left hand spinning the ring on her finger around, "You don't have to stay if you don't want to."

"What?" he asked shaking his head then trying to catch her eye, "Look at me please."

She flicked her eyes to his, "When we figure this out. I heard you and Sam talking. With the Ifrit dead, if we can't find a way to get our memories back... you don't have to... you know..." she reached forward and touched his ring, "keep that." She sighed, absently flipping through the book and looked away again, "I mean I could understand if you don't..."

He covered her hand with his then held it up and looked at the ring that matched his. He shook his head, "Let's just see if we like each other before we make any decisions okay?" _Why would she say that? Maybe she doesn't like me already? _"Or have you already figured you don't?" he asked somehow having a hard time working around a lump in his throat.

"Oh no. No that's not it at all," she shook her head, her eyes wide, her hand holding his firmly, "I do, I mean at least I think I do... so far. I just meant if YOU don't..." _want damaged goods, _she shrugged then let go his hand and returned her attention to the book, "You're right, we can decide later. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

Dean shook his head, "S'okay."

At the front entrance the librarian looked up, her gaze drawn to the tall dark haired man who'd caught her attention at the beginning of her shift. "Ooh your brother's here! He seemed concerned about you." She offered, "I hope you don't mind but I set them up with the books you were looking at earlier."

"I got a little sidetracked," he muttered watching Dean and Laura interact at the table in the next room, the tentative touches, the hand holding, the way she looked at him then looked away, _is it flirting or avoidance?_ He wondered, his lips pursing tight together. _At least they made it this far, and they're working together. I wonder if either of them remembers anything yet... _he reached out with his senses, trying to get a feel for them in much the same way he was able to sense demons when they were near, but the same thing that made him feel something was 'off' before, was still there. It took a while but he eventually figured out that it was an absence, there was an energy to each person that identified them and apparently it was comprised in part of that person's experiences, it was like a heavy winter coat, but without the knowledge of those experiences it was as if their energy was empty, in a way even naked.

_Ahhh great here we go again... _he groaned inside then breathed relief when the arousal he was prepared for seemed to hold off. _Maybe that massage really helped. Or the girl at the lounge._ He smirked.

"I thought you might have," she smiled flirtatiously then touched his arm, "I didn't want to pry when they came in but, we do have a first aid kit..."

Sam looked down, just seeming to notice her presence, "They got mugged yesterday, they're fine." He muttered distracted then shot her a quick smile, "Excuse me." Before moving into the research room and joining them at the table.

OOooOO

"Well there's not a whole lot of other alternatives here." Sam half growled.

Dean watched her face turn down as she nodded, "I know, it's just that..." breath shuddered and she winced with the motion, "I'm sorry." _I shouldn't be so ungrateful. What I want isn't the issue, they rescued me, treated me well, gave me clothes, food, time to feel better. They deserve to have whatever they want. _

"Look Laura, just because he says it's usually that way doesn't mean it HAS to be," Dean glared at the younger man who shrugged helplessly. "You take the bed one of us'll take the floor... hell I'll take the floor, I don't care. But I have to say, as uncomfortable as it might be for you to be in a room alone with two guys you barely know... I think it's still safer than if you got your own room."

_I don't want to be alone, what if there are more of them and they're just waiting for me to be alone? _Slowly she nodded in spite of the strands of tears that started flowing down to drip from her chin as she backed into the corner at the head of the bed and pulled her knees to her chest.

Dean stumbled forward with a firm push from his brother then pointed to the side of the bed and sat but only after she nodded.

"You're scared, I get it, but I promise, and Sam promises," he looked at the younger man who'd returned to the other bed and was sitting propped up against the wall with a beer in his hand nodding his agreement, "neither one of us is going to hurt you."

"I know." She sniffed but the tears simply wouldn't stop. Something inside felt as if it was broken or breaking, her chest felt hot and heavy deep in the center and she just didn't know what to make of it. "You've both been very nice," She shook her head, "and I know you'd try not to hurt me if you wanted to... you know," she shrugged, "it'd be your right y'know... heroes should get..." but she couldn't continue, her voice was choked off by sobs as she buried her face against her knees and wove her hands over her head.

"Whoa, whoa whoa, what? Hey now..." Dean started and gently dropped a hand onto her foot while Sam lurched from his bed and sat down on the foot of hers.

"You don't really think we'd..." he shook his head, "you don't OWE us anything, what do you think this is the dark ages?" he asked then literally slapped his forehead and groaned, "Aww jeez, twenty five hundred years of consecutive lifetimes and personal evolution completely sucked away." He breathed shaking his head.

"What?" Dean asked continuing to rub her foot absently even as he eyed the younger man.

Sam flopped back, his arms falling out to the side while his head rolled back and forth. "No, no, no, I can't take this." _She's fucking offering herself up practically on a silver platter! This is so not right!_

"What? What're you talking about?" Dean asked grateful that the younger man's distress seemed to have calmed her a little bit or at least caught her curiosity.

"Laura," Sam rolled then sat cross legged looking between her and Dean, "It's too much to go into right now, and frankly I'm just too damned exhausted, but lemme ask you, does any part of you believe either of us is going to hurt you or do anything that you don't want?"

She shook her head.

"But you're still scared right?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Okay I want you to do me a favor. Come out of the corner and lay right here," he instructed patting the outer edge of the bed, "on your right side. Dean's gonna crawl in behind you..."

"Dude! No! Not if she doesn't..."

"She DOES Dean, what do you wanna bet that's part of the conflict? Now just shut up and do what I say for once." He sighed remembering the first time Kitsune had come to be with him after Dean, Imdugud and Bobby rescued him from Lilith and the Asag. He'd been torn, craving the comfort offered by the Japanese demi-god while simultaneously terrified that all he'd be able to feel was every agony Lilith had done to him, then there was the fear of drowning in the shame and humiliation. He understood it all and Kitsune had too. She'd cradled him gently, slowly reminding him what loving touch was and giving him the chance to remember that he was worthy of it. He knew exactly what Laura needed and he knew that as much as he could and would gladly give her everything possible, it was Dean who had to be the one. After what Tommy told him during a brief phone call earlier this afternoon, he knew he could never be the one for her. Not only had her new body been sculpted specifically to appeal to Dean, but his very blood had been used to imbue that body with life. His blood literally ran through her veins. _And then there's the whole soul issue on top of it all. I never stood a chance. _

"I don't... I'm not gonna..." she shook her head but started to unfold herself from the corner.

"Keep your clothes on, it wouldn't be the first time you crashed in 'em." Sam sighed moving back to his bed, his eyes roaming longingly over her as she moved, a flash of hip, the curve of her rump, an extended leg and the profile of full springy breasts made him ache as she settled on her side with a pillow scrunched between her shoulder and her ear.

"Dean, slide in behind her and spoon her." He ordered and found himself surprised by how readily the older man moved to obey, _is it residual from all the years of obedience Dad forced on him, or is it because he doesn't know what to do otherwise without his memories? _"And don't touch her anywhere she doesn't want you to."

Dean frowned at the younger man, "I wouldn't!" he half whined over his shoulder then turned and looked at the woman, "Are you okay with this? I mean we don't _have_ to do what he says."

"I'm not afraid of you," she shuddered at the feel of him behind her.

_Of course you're not afraid of him you were MADE for him!_ Sam half snarled inside hating the anger and envy he felt. He felt like the stereotypical red-headed-stepchild. He wanted what Dean had. He wanted a woman that would go through everything Laura had and still be unshakable in her love. He wanted a woman who could cherish him just as absolutely when he was at his absolute worst, as easily as when he was at his best. He wanted a woman who was _part _of him who made him feel whole.

"G'nite guys." He grunted then turned off the bedside lamp.

"Nite Sam."

"G'nite Sam." They said together.

In time each member of the exhausted family found a bit of peace. Not that it lasted very long.

OOooOO

Tbc.

Please R&R.

Thanks.

Sifi.


	4. Chapter 4

John Doe – chpt 4.

By: sifi.

OOooOO

Sam's eyes snapped open and without thinking he rolled out of bed, crossed the room and grabbed one of Laura's feet, and one of Dean's then shook them awake with harsh "Shhh!"

The pair sat up quickly both of them blinking owlishly at him in the dark. "We got trouble, get in the bathroom and shut the door!" he ordered just as the door to the room splintered explosively. He threw himself in front of them and turned quickly as a trio of very rough looking people entered the room.

_What's wrong with their eyes?_ Laura thought as Dean grabbed her off the bed then shoved her toward the bathroom door.

"What the hell are they?" Dean asked harshly but stood beside the younger man.

"Get in the bathroom!" Sam ordered.

"So it's true," the male with the beard sneered, "we heard he had his memory sucked away."

"That's just gonna make it even more fun when we get him back home and start strippin' the skin off him." A clean shaven man added also stepping forward.

"Who me?" Dean asked, "Eew."

Sam scowled and took the first of several deep breaths, his eyes never leaving the trio.

"Better watch it boys, looks like the boy king doesn't like what he's hearing." A third man, this one looking like he'd spent way too much time in the gym smiled as he entered the room. He shoved the bearded man toward the bathroom, "Go get the bitch."

"I don't think so." Dean stepped in front of him and found himself flying then impacting with bell ringing force into the wall before he dropped to the floor breathing hard.

"You guys are making a mistake." Sam smirked then reached out his right hand at the one that tossed his brother, and his left toward the other two.

The bearded man soared into the wall and stuck there, the other two seemed pinned to the spot, unable to move no matter how they tried.

"You guys never learn." He shook his head, all the frustration he'd been building up over the last few days rolled to a boil then mated with the fury that these guys would have the audacity to come after them NOW.

From the floor Dean watched stunned and full of conflicting emotions. What he was seeing wasn't right. _What the hell? How is he doing that? Why aren't they attacking? What the..._the bearded man trembled in place and began to choke. A second later he began to vomit black soot that glowed like embers on the floor as it hit. _What the hell?_ He shifted his gaze to the younger man and scrambled on all fours to the bathroom door, "Laura! Get out here now!" he ordered barely believing what he was seeing.

The man they'd trusted, the one they'd been listening to and working with and starting to be comfortable with, had become something he couldn't understand. His eyes had gone black just like those of the intruders, but there was a slight difference, the center of them seemed to glow kind of an orangey-pink color, as if the color was fighting the blackness for dominance.

_Any way you look at it, that ain't human!_ Dean thought noticing that the bathroom door was now open a crack.

Seeing the fear on Dean's face she opened it further, "Run!" he ordered, "Now!"

None of what she was seeing made any sense to her, there was an unconscious or dead man on the floor surrounded by what looked like a ring of ash, and the other two were trembling in place, with scattered bits of orangey sparks coursing through and around them as Sam stood pointing at them with his left hand. A glance at his face stole the breath from her as she saw his eyes and felt a shiver run through her.

She glanced at Dean who grabbed her hand and practically threw her toward the motel room door, "GO! GO, GO!" he ordered racing out into the hall behind her.

_Dean WAIT!_ Sam wanted to shout but couldn't. He had to hold his concentration. Holding and killing two demons at once was more taxing than almost anything he'd done thus far. Except killing Lilith.

OOooOO

"Here! Laura!" he called fishing the keys out of his jeans pocket and opening the driver door, "Get in."

She slid across the front seat trembling with wide frightened eyes, "What WAS that? Was that Sam? What was he doing? Why did he look like that? Who were those people?" she asked.

"I don't know." Dean answered absently, pulling the Impala out of her space and speeding down the ramp and out onto the street cutting off a city bus in the bargain and getting a blaring angry horn for his troubles. "Aww bite me." He grumbled at the bus driver.

Several minutes later, when they were out of sight of the motel and fairly certain that Sam wasn't somehow flying through the air after them, Dean was able to start settling down and breathe normally. A few minutes after that, with trembling hands he pulled the car over into a crowded lot, put her in park and sat back stunned and trying to understand what had happened.

"You okay?" he asked the woman beside him.

She nodded, "Was that all really real?" she asked.

"Yeah," he swiped his hand over his face then turned to look at her, disbelief written everywhere she could see, "I think it really was." In his pocket his cell phone began to vibrate.

"It's him," she shook her head, "don't answer it."

He pulled the device confirming her instinct then put it in his pocket, "Do you think he can trace us?" he asked.

She shrugged, "Wouldn't surprise me, I mean what or who can't they trace these days y'know?" She peered deep into his eyes, "Do you think he's really your brother? Or was he just... what do you think he wanted?" she asked.

_I think he wanted you. Whatever else he might have wanted I don't know, but I do know the way he was looking at you, and the way he sounded when he talked about you. But why? _He looked her up and down and tried to somehow glean an understanding of what it was that Sam might have wanted from her, when all Dean really felt like he wanted was to protect her. His gaze returned to her mouth, _and maybe a kiss or ten._

"I don't know. Is he even human?" Dean asked shaking his head, "How could we be brothers if he's not even human... cause then wouldn't I be a monster too?"

"And how did those things...were they men or were they monsters?" she asked, "and if they were monsters, then what kind? There were a lot of different types in that book, do you think all of them are really real?" she asked.

"They knew I don't have a memory." _That one called him, 'the boy king'. _He mumbled then turned to her, "I have to try and get my memory back. Maybe then it'll make sense somehow y'know?"

She nodded then took his hand trying to steady her own, "I thought we could trust him y'know?" she sniffed and tried to hold back the tears again, "He seemed nice y'know? Like he understood and like it would be okay." She took her hand back and looked Dean in the eyes, "What if... I mean if you're really brothers what if you're one too?"

Dean shook his head, "I don't know. I don't _feel_ like a monster." They looked at their rings and then back at each other. "If he wasn't lying about you and me... maybe I am one too and maybe it doesn't matter? Do all monsters have to be bad do you think?" he asked feeling his brows furrow in confusion as the beginnings of a massive headache started to crawl up his neck and sink into the base of his skull.

In his pocket his phone began to vibrate again, and again he let it go to voice mail, this time without even looking at it.

"I don't think we should stay together but..." She said frowning, "I don't know what to think," she looked helplessly into his eyes, "I like you but I thought Sam was nice too and look what he did, how do we know he wasn't just waiting for the right time to do that to us? How do we know... how do I know he wasn't just playing with us and if you're with him then maybe you're playing with me too."

Dean shook his head almost frantically, "I'm not! I wouldn't do that!" then added, "I don't think." And gently set his hand on hers.

She looked at their hands together, sorrow in her eyes before pulling away, "I liked you... I could maybe even see why I loved you... " Her hand fumbled for the lock and then for the latch, "I think maybe I should run now." She backed out of the car then quickly closed the door, her eyes never leaving Dean as he emerged from the driver's side but didn't give chase.

"Please don't leave me, I wouldn't hurt you." He asked shaking his head and trying to see through the mist that covered his eyes, _Please... I won't let anyone or anything hurt you I swear._

She shook her head and backed slowly away toward the entrance to the subway, "What if you can't help it?" Breath hitched into her chest as she covered her mouth and shook her head wondering why it all hurt so much and so deep, "I'm sorry." Then she turned and fled leaving him staring hollowly after her.

OOooOO

Suddenly lost, and filled with the horrible sense that there was nothing _left_ to lose, the next time his cell phone vibrated he answered.

"Dean it's me, don't hang up! You guys have to come back to the motel, it's not safe out there... for either of you!" Sam urged.

_You cost me EVERYTHING! _"What are you?" he asked through clenched teeth. "Are you one of those djinns? Are you an Ifrit? What the hell kind of monster ARE you you son of a bitch!" he hollered.

"No! Dean I'm not! I swear, I'm just a guy... I have this... psychic... thing... look those guys that came in were demons, well humans possessed by demons... I told you there was a lot you don't remember, the Ifrit stole it ALL from you... Hunting these things, it's what we do! Please, you both have to come back. We all have to get out of here, if they know where we are you're both in danger, you especially."

"Why? Why me? I'm not the one they called 'the boy king'."

"Oh God... they're fucking with you man! Don't you get it!? You don't have a memory, you don't know which way is up! What better way to isolate you than to knock away your protection? Divide and conquer Dean it's basic strategy! Please! You two have to come back, we can't get separated from each other!" he pleaded.

"You move from that room and I swear I will hunt you down and kill you." Dean snarled through the burning pain and despair in his guts then cut the connection. Stepping from the car he jogged toward the subway tunnel then entered at a walk, if she was close to the entrance he didn't want to spook her.

OOooOO

Tbc.

Please R&R.

Thanks.

Sifi.


	5. Chapter 5

John Doe – chpt 5.

By:sifi

OOooOO

Halfway down the stairs at the landing he stopped, his gaze sweeping the platform just beyond the turnstiles. The object of his attention was easy to single out. The three other riders waiting for a train were keeping their distance as she paced frantically back and forth tapping her chin and seeming for all intents and purposes very much like someone about to have a psychotic episode.

Twice he watched her lurch for the stairs then shake her head and continue pacing. Slowly he started to descend again more certain than ever that if she looked up and saw him, she might just panic and run down the tunnel.

Seconds later he couldn't contain the smile that burst onto his face as she dashed back through the turnstile and with her eyes focused on the stairs began to run up them.

He moved to the side blocking her, then moved again as she tried to get around him. His smile trembled when she looked up, her expression moving quickly from distress to an instant of fear and then unguarded light that sent a shiver up his spine.

"Dean." She gasped wrapping her arms around him while pressing her ear to his chest. "I don't want to be without you. Whatever you are."

Held tight to her, his body shuddered and his lips landed at her temple, "I don't wanna be without you either," his breath hitched as he gave her a squeeze.

"We have to go back," she looked up into his face, "whatever he is, maybe we can help him. That's what family does right?"

He nodded and counting his blessings raced up the stairs with her hand in his, then back out into the lot.

"Don't get me wrong, but why did you come back?" he asked as they merged with early morning traffic.

"Truth?" she asked softly.

"Nothing but."

She nodded and swallowed, "When Sam found me I didn't want to come out. I didn't want to ever see light again. I knew it wouldn't ever look the same or feel the same and I didn't want to..." she stopped, her voice little more than a whisper, "he knew. What I was feeling... just everything... and then you made me smile. At first it was just a smile but then you said something and it made me laugh."

"I did?" Dean smiled brightly at her.

"Mmm hmm."

He shrugged bashfully, "Well you probably just needed it y'know?

She nodded, "And even though we were scared about not finding Sam yesterday, it was a good day, it felt," she shook her head, "Strong? Purposeful y'know?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

She continued, "and he woke us up and told us to hide. Even if he was just saving us so he could kill us or whatever monsters do, in his own time... maybe he deserves a chance to make us believe him. And if he doesn't and he still kills us then I figure dying together's gotta be better than dying alone."

"What made you change your mind about me?" he asked pulling the impala into the same parking spot he'd pulled it out of just about an hour ago.

She held up her left hand wiggling the ring at him, "Maybe I know and it doesn't' matter...like you said before. Or maybe I just want to believe so much that I'd rather be brother monster chow than to feel that huge ugly empty swirly feeling in my belly that I get when you're not near." She finished with a shrug.

"I'd like to kiss you." He smiled softly after turning to face her, "Could I do that? Just one? Or maybe a couple thousand times?"

Smiling and blushing she nodded and reveled in the thrumming of her nerves and the vibration of her heartbeat as he leaned forward meeting her halfway across the bench seat and barely breathed against her lips. Something made a sound in the back of her throat as his hands came up her neck, cradling her jaw and she felt his mouth sweep hers this time.

"Don't tease me." She sighed mirroring his gentle grip before sweeping his lower lip with both of hers. Seconds later the world went away until the Impala lurched against the cement stopper as Dean's foot slid off the brake.

OOooOO

THREE DAYS LATER: SINGER AUTO SALVAGE

"Hey Bobby," Sam greeted clapping the older man high up on the shoulder as he entered the only place besides Jim's that had ever really felt like home.

"Heya Sam, any luck with these two?" he motioned to Dean and Laura who stood behind the youngest Winchester holding hands and looking about as lost as a couple of virgins in a whorehouse.

Sam shook his head and motioned them forward as he slid into the house making his way for the kitchen, "They're doing real good with the facts and the lore but nothing's making a connection." He called, obviously rooting around in the fridge.

"Where the hell's your manners boy?" Bobby reprimanded, "Make sure you bring me one too." Then turned to look at Dean and Laura, "Well get on inside. I don't want Ajax chasing flies in here, big clumsy oaf breaks more than a bull in a china shop."

Dean stepped in and extended his hand to the burly man, "Nice t'meet you." He smiled bashfully, "Sorry about that son of a bitch stuff before... I was just kinda... you know..." he sputtered as holy water shot into his face. "What the hell's the matter with you!?" Dean barked swiping himself dry and wincing against the brain burn that came with a blast of water up the nose.

Bobby shook his head, "Calm down boy, s'just holy water. C'mon in." he ushered them into the room. "Laura, damn girl I thought you'd be all healed up by now."

"Told you the guy beat the shit out of her." Sam reminded him, "Bruises just went green yesterday."

"My ribs are better though, I can breathe without pain now." She offered then offered her left hand to the man. "Are you gonna splash holy water up my nose too?" she asked.

Bobby handed the flask to her, "Nah, just take a drink."

She did as instructed and grimaced, "Salty..." then handed it back to the hunter and extended her hand, "It's nice to meet you."

"Meet me?" he scoffed, "Girl... if you only knew." He shook his head taking one of the beers from Sam, as did Laura and Dean.

"Oh! We got a case in the trunk and we picked up some food..." Dean perched precariously on the arm of the couch beside the woman at the same time a ginormous black and brown quadruped gallumphed from the back door, through the house toward them. It leaped at Dean, its large floppy ears flapping through the air as it landed on him, forepaws in his chest, its giant pink tongue slurping his face until he was pretty sure it was going to come off. Next to him Laura backed away laughing, glancing from Sam in the kitchen doorway, to Bobby and then to Dean, all the while chuckling and reaching out a tentative hand to stroke the enormous dog's silky musculature.

"Ajaaaaaax." Bobby growled easily but was glad for the dog's assessment. If the dippy mutt was that excited about the boys' arrival, and if he accepted that Dean and Laura were who Sam thought they were, then Bobby might begin to relax and be better able to help them try and get their memories back.

OOooOO

"Let's start with something simple," Bobby frowned curiously then set a shot glass before Dean and Laura each. From the counter he retrieved a gourd, popped the top off of it and filled the glasses. "This is a distillate of Aletheia root. I told Mustardseed what was going on with you two and this is what he said would do the trick."

"Who's Mustardseed?" Dean asked.

"Isn't he the faerie warrior you were telling us about?" Laura asked Sam.

"Yeah. He's been a great friend, to all of us."

"So are they here now?" she asked looking around.

Bobby shook his head, "They won't come out just yet, without you knowing who they are, it's the same thing as if you'd never seen 'em before." He explained, "They won't risk themselves."

She shrugged, "Understandable." Then noting Dean's curious expression explained, "I mean how do they know we're not under some horrible spell that maybe would make us hurt them y'know?"

"No." he shook his head but smiled and shrugged then returned his attention to the senior hunter, "So this is supposed to do what exactly?" he asked smelling the deeply alcoholic liquid.

"Aletheia means literally, 'the state of not being hidden, the state of being evident' so... if there's something in your usually fairly empty head, this stuff should cut right though whatever's keeping you from it."

"Are you always so cranky?" Dean asked with a wry smile.

"When people I care about are in danger, you're damned right I'm cranky... now drink it down, both of you." He ordered.

"I still don't understand what makes you think we're in danger, I mean okay, so Sam says we hunt things like Djinn's and Ifrits and demons and stuff but you'd think if we don't remember it then they'd count themselves lucky and not..."

"I already told you Dean," Sam snipped, "You're defenseless what better reason to take you out now than to risk you getting your memory back and being able to defend yourself."

"Not to mention how many of those bastards would just love to get you back down the pit," Bobby added then frowned as Sam's expression went from prohibitive to completely collapsed.

"What pit?" Dean asked noting the look that passed between Bobby and his brother. "What pit? What's going on? What aren't you guys telling me?" he asked.

"You didn't TELL HIM?" Bobby demanded wide eyed before pointing to the older Winchester, "Drink that damned thing so you remember on your own!" he ordered angrily.

Together Laura and Dean raised their glasses and swallowed back the shots, both of them fighting the urge to throw up for several minutes afterwards.

"How long's it supposed to take?" Sam asked.

Bobby shook his head, "Should be pretty instantaneous, like looking behind a curtain."

"God that's vile," Laura shivered.

"Mmm I dunno," Dean shrugged once the urge to puke was gone, "wasn't _that _bad." He looked between Sam and Bobby, then to Laura who shrugged and shook her head.

"Anything?" Sam asked, the hope in his voice all too obvious.

"Mmm nuh... no. I don't think so."

All eyes turned to Laura who shook her head, "I got nuthin'."

"Son of a bitch." Bobby cursed.

"Now what pit? What the hell are you guys talking about?" he stopped at the stricken look on both of their faces. "Wait a sec, you don't mean like THE Pit... you're not talking about, like... _hell_ are you?" he asked as a feeling of dizziness swarmed over him. His skin began to crawl as if he was covered in bees.

"What do you mean _back down_?" he added as his fingers clutched the table.

"It's a long story." Sam said softly.

"You're just full of long stories aren't you!? What the hell else aren't you telling me?! I got demons on my ass trying to take me BACK to hell... you're some psychic demon assassin and we're camped out in a place protected by faeries! I mean what the FUCK!?" he stormed out of his chair and started pacing the living room.

"And you're not even scratching the surface yet boy," Bobby sat back disheartened then looked at Laura, "Are you getting anything yet?"

She shook her head.

"Why were you surprised she's not healed up already?" Dean asked turning back toward the older man, "She's healing faster than anyone should ... be..." he stopped then straightened up looking from Sam to Bobby, both of them sporting the same awkward expressions. "So Sam and me, we're not the only freaks in the carnival?"

"You're not freaks, none of you." Bobby assured him then pointed to the chair he'd vacated.

"You mean I got powers too?" Laura asked, her expression hopeful as she grasped Dean's hand and looked up into his eyes, "That explains why it doesn't matter." Then turned back to Bobby as Dean kissed the side of her head, "What's my power?"

"It's better if you can remember it on your own," Sam shook his head his eyes locked on her full pink lips, the desire to taste them almost unbearable. _A kiss!_ He straightened up, his eyes bright and an upward turn on the corners of his mouth, "Kiss..." he muttered looking between the other three.

"The dryad kissed us to 'open' us to other possibilities," he pointed to Laura, "You use a touch to see what someone's experience can show you, maybe if you focus on the idea of remembering while you're kissing..."

"But we've already kissed and neither of us still remembers anything." Dean said.

"But neither of you knows anything to begin with," Bobby offered before shooting a smirk at Sam, "Why don't you give it a shot kid?"

Dean smirked knowingly and nodded, "I know what this is... you just wanna kiss her. You've been wanting to since we found her at the school. Not that I blame you."

"He does?" she asked then smiled at Sam, "You do?"

He nodded blushing deeply, "Yeah I do. But what I want, it's neither here nor there. You two are meant for each other."

"You wanna give it a try?" Dean asked her.

"It wouldn't bother you?" she asked.

He shrugged, "I don't know... I mean it's just a kiss right? It's not like you're gonna you know... get all hot and heavy or anything with him right here in front of us right?" he asked as Bobby got up and went into the kitchen.

"I don't think so." She shrugged.

"Go for it." Dean shrugged then looked at Sam who stood there with a 'deer in the headlights' look on his face this time.

Bobby returned from the kitchen with a smirk on his face and a large pitcher full of water in his hands, "I'm ready." He grinned.

"What do I do?" she asked as Sam sat in the next chair over, turned it to face her and shifted awkwardly, once again grateful for his tendency to wear long shirts.

He shook his head leaning forward, "I'm really not sure, but since I DO have memories, I'm guessing you should just focus on wanting them," he leaned back, "make sure you're not thinking about 'taking' them, just more of a 'seeing' them thing okay? We can't afford to have all three of us not knowing what's going on."

"Aint' that the truth." Bobby nodded then seemed to light up, "Ooh and if this doesn't work we can try to put in a call to your buddy Castiel and see if he can do something."

"Who's Castiel?" Dean asked.

"Kiss first," Bobby waved at Sam and Laura, "Let's see if this works." He sat back smiling loosely with his arms crossed over his chest, "Could use some popcorn."

"This is sooo not what I had in mind," Sam muttered as a blush seemed to explode all the way through him.

"MMm I'll bet." Dean grinned sitting back, part of him definitely interested in what might happen. He'd known since this whole thing began that the younger man was fighting against his desire for the woman and he wondered now if a kiss would make it better or worse. It also set his mind a little at ease since over the last few days she'd proven to be pretty outwardly affectionate in general. It was nothing to her to hug either of them, or to drop a hand on either of their shoulders in passing. What gave him the most comfort was that at night it was Dean she shared the bed with. They hadn't progressed beyond cuddling so he frequently wondered if he really had any claim on her at all, and found that the question didn't really bother him as long as she was around.

"Shut uuuuhhhp," Sam drawled with a smile but leaned forward, his hands coming to rest gently against her jaw as he tilted her head to the side then tentatively pressed his mouth to hers. A heartbeat later he was more insistent as she returned the kiss, diving head long into that sparkly feeling that came with it.

A moan slid between them and for an instant everything stopped though their lips remained together.

Suddenly, Laura stood, her fists clenched in his shirt as she pulled him to his feet and pushed him across the front room and into the wall most definitely having taken charge.

"What the hell?" Dean and Bobby said together racing to the wall where she had Sam pinned and looked like there wasn't going to be any breaking free from each other any time soon.

"Ina..." Sam sighed happily into her mouth, his palms pressed to the sides of her face.

"Ina!" he gasped when she opened her eyes revealing the deep molten copper color of the deity's soul within.

"My son," she grinned slowly while twining her hand in his hair and pulling his head down. "Such passion," She sighed smiling and pressing her temple to his for several seconds as Dean came forward.

"What the hell?" he asked, his face a mask of confusion as he looked between them.

"Oh my," Bobby breathed but wondered if this could help.

She released Sam then turned to Dean who started to back away uncertain what to make of the light in her eyes, "My king," she greeted pressing forward and branding him with her lips.

It took several seconds before Dean began to respond, but when he did, even with his eyes closed, both Sam and Bobby were relatively certain exactly WHO had come to the fore and now had the woman wrapped in his arms.

"My queen," he gushed, grasping her before wheeling around, picking her up and bringing her to the couch where he set her down and stretched out atop her.

"Do NOT make me get the pitcher!" Bobby called but apparently went unheard as the two embodied deities lost themselves in each other.

Helpless and suddenly feeling a lot more uncomfortable the older hunter turned to Sam, "Want a beer?" he asked.

"Yep." He nodded, keeping his eyes off the couple and hoping that he'd be able to get rid of the painful pinching in his jeans sooner rather than later.

On their way out of the living room they closed the sliding doors.

OOooOO

Tbc.

Please R&R

Thanks.

Sifi.


	6. Chapter 6

John Doe – chpt 6.

By: sifi.

OOooOO

Sam swung the bottle between his fingertips grateful after all that Bobby had kept pushing. The older man had known something was off with the youngest Winchester for weeks and he was glad to finally get the kid alone to talk, "I just don't get it." Sam said.

"I never figured you for the one who couldn't see the forest for the trees." Bobby shook his head, "C'mon Sam, it's not Laura OR Inanna you're interested in. I mean not really."

John's youngest cocked his head to the side, "Tell my body that." He blushed.

"And you never felt this way before?" the elder hunter asked.

"Uh uh," he shook his head, "When we were on the road to dead going to Ereshkegal's palace Ina kissed me," he gasped and groaned with the memory of it then swilled back several swallows of his beer, "my god what I felt..." he shook his head drawing a very curious and narrow eyed look from the older man.

"What was it?" he asked, "I mean more than the average turn on?"

"I can't believe we're actually talking about this," Sam muttered.

"Well whatever it is it's obviously buggin' the crap out of you, and I KNOW you Sam, if you don't deal with this now, it's not going to get any easier as time goes on... am I right?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded reluctantly, "You're right. And yeah it was a helluva lot more than the average turn on." He took a moment to collect his thoughts then forged ahead, "I experienced the instant of Marduk's conception."

The older man's eyebrow shot up high enough to nearly get lost in his hairline, "What? From her point of view?" he asked.

"From _all _of our points of view."

"You felt..."

"...what it was like for her, for him and for... me... all at once." Sam nodded blushing madly and staring hard into his bottle.

"Whoa."

"It almost killed me..."

"Painful?" he asked confused and surprised.

Sam shook his head, "Perfect." Then pointed toward the still closed doors, "If a person could live forever in an instant like that, there'd never be evil," he shrugged, "take it away and it explains how evil CAN exist."

"Wow," Bobby leaned forward, "You're saying it's better than..."

Sam looked up and met his eyes, "You can't _begin_ to imagine how much better."

"Wow." The older man leaned back, "Okay so... then what happened?"

Sam shrugged and returned to staring into his bottle, "I dunno... I mean she's a pretty girl and all, and y'know I can't help but love her for all the happiness she brings Dean y'know? But it's like all of a sudden... no matter who I'm with, all I can think of is her."

"When did it start?"

"Couple months ago."

"Couple months ago like around the time Lilith had you in her claws?" he surmised.

Wordless Sam nodded.

"I see." He leaned back for a moment then swilled from the bottle of black label sitting between them, "_Has_ it occurred to you that it's not _her _personally that's jerkin' your joystick? That maybe it's more what she _represents_?" he pointed to the doors, "I mean look at them. As much as the whole ancient soul thing freaks the crap out of me, there's not a damned thing that can keep those two apart!" he shook his head, "give 'em a shady corner for five minutes and they goin' at it."

"Don't remind me."

"Speaking of which, have they been like that since you found her?"

"They're like a couple of magnets, all I had to do was point 'em at each other." Sam smiled.

"And you didn't even think once about..."

"HELL YEAH I thought about it... but a guy doesn't do that. Especially not when it's his brother's girl!" he sighed, "Plus, you didn't see her Bobby. She's missing 2500 years of personal evolution... she was just plain terrified, horrified... she was in despair." _And yet she practically offered herself up as a 'reward' for rescuing her... morality sucks._

"So you know exactly how she felt." Bobby nodded knowing it was so but eyeing the young man just the same. It'd been a couple months already since Sam had been Lilith's prisoner and as far as both Bobby and Dean could tell the young man still hadn't really dealt with the torture he'd endured. It was possible that since he'd gotten the gratification of killing the demon herself he was keeping his coping internal, but Dean couldn't help worrying about his little brother. Now instead of being obsessed with finding and killing Lilith Sam, up until this Ifrit thing had shifted his obsession to finding Lucifer. _"and I don't mind telling you Bobby it's pretty much scaring the shit outta me man. There's NO way we're ready for that yet!" _he recalled the young man saying, and Bobby agreed.

Sam looked away but nodded, "Yeah. I do."

"I'm sorry kid." He sighed then nodded at the door, "Apparently she's over it now."

Sam shook his head, "That's Inanna and Enki in there, not Laura and Dean."

Bobby shook his head, "See this is what freaks me out... I thought you all kinda share the whole consciousness thing. And if that's the case can't they help Dean and Laura remember?"

"I don't know, we'll have to ask them when they're done. As for sharing consciousness, when the 'personalities' or 'entities' whatever you wanna call 'em, aren't sleeping they pretty much just seem to stay in the background."

"Unless one of the other ancient's is around."

"Apparently."

"Okay so anyway getting back to YOUR predicament..." he snickered, "Sorry, problem. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and figure it's probably more about your recently compromised ability to trust. I mean you trust Laura AND Ina because you know for a fact she never has and never would cause you harm, and because she's the mother of your... soul right?"

Sam nodded. "But I've got Kitsune. So why the hell am I lusting after my brother's girl?"

"Because Dean's already done all the work. He's been through all the insecurities, the uncertainties, his own abandonment and trust issues, and because of that YOU know their history." He took another swig from the bottle then handed it back to the young hunter, "From what you say, their souls have been doing this dance for centuries right?" he asked.

"About seven millennia now," Sam nodded, swigged from the bottle and sat back feeling the truth of Bobby's insight.

"Ho...shit," Bobby whistled wishing he could disbelieve, "Okay, so not only that but this time around you said she was literally made for him. You don't have that with Kitsune. It's possible she could hurt you. Not that I think she would personally but that's just me, and it's not my heart on the line." He sat back and took another swallow of whiskey, "Eat your heart out Dr. Phil."

OOooOO

"I hope your brother knows he's gonna be payin' to have that couch steam cleaned." Bobby grumbled turning his head so his ear was at the slight opening between the doors, "So help me god I better not go blind."

Sitting at the table Sam smirked, "I walked in on him once..." he shuddered, "Took running into a squad of demons to get the visual out of my head."

Straining through squinted eyes Bobby turned his head, "Alright you two you wanna give it a rest so we can get down to business here!" he admonished then dared a glance through the crack. His jaw dropped and he flung the doors open into the largely empty room. In the corner Ajax was sprawled on his back apparently dreaming contentedly and chuffing.

He turned to Sam, "Go see if they took one of the rooms upstairs." Then barked "Ajax!" drawing the dog instantly awake and scrambling to sit before his master, "Find Dean." He ordered.

The dog sniffed around the room while he quickly checked the first floor guest room.

"Dean? Laura!" Bobby called emerging from the empty room to find Ajax sitting at the front door where he gave a soft 'whuff'.

"They're not up here." Sam called racing down the stairs, taking the .45 Bobby handed him from the front closet before cocking his own shotgun and motioning Ajax back.

Sam grasped the knob whipping the door open once the senior hunter nodded he was ready.

He burst in relative silence out onto the front porch with Sam close behind. Their eyes scanned the darkness left and right, searching toward the driveway as Ajax padded briskly to the right then sat and gave another soft 'whuff'.

"Shhh." Came an easy response.

Stopped short Bobby and Sam looked at each other then headed off to the far end of the veranda where Dean lay stretched out, his head in Laura's lap, sleeping soundly as she lounged contentedly stroking his hair.

"What the hell do you mean scarin' the crap outta us like that!" Bobby yelled.

In her lap Dean began to rouse, "It seems our host is a little agitated my love." She smiled while tenderly tweaking his nose.

"MMm?"

"Oh God you're still you two?" he grumbled handing the shotgun off to Sam then motioning Ajax back into the house.

"Ina?" Sam came forward with a chair and sat close to the chaise, reaching out and giving Dean a shake, "Do you both know what happened to Dean and Laura?"

She reached forward and stroked his cheek, "Such pain my love. I wish I could bear it for you."

Sam shook his head sighing deeply as he pressed his cheek into her hand, "I'd never ask that."

Beside her Dean rolled over, and pushing himself up wrapped an arm around the woman so he could kiss her deeply before returning his attention to Sam, "Answer the boy's question love." He smiled.

"They are much cleaner than they were last time we awoke." She yawned snuggling against her king.

"How much of their lives do you know?" Bobby asked dragging over another chair.

"What do you want?" A soft masculine voice wafted through the darkness from the other side of the railing just before Castiel walked up the steps toward the quartet.

Before any of them could figure out what was going on, Ina rose and strode to stand before the angel, "Tell your superiors to find another champion! This is _your_ battle NOT ours!" she demanded.

"The champion has been chosen. The one who begins it, is the only one who can stop it." He said.

"That he was chosen is the fault of your superiors cherub, they have broken the pact."

"Pact?" Sam asked.

"What pact?" Bobby asked.

Enki turned to them, looking in particular at Sam, "As you would say, it's a long story." He smirked.

"What has been done cannot be undone." He looked at Dean, "The mortal man has a destiny he must fulfill or there will be no world for anyone. You know the prophecy, you know what will come."

"We filled this earth, we built a world of joy and bliss and if you think we're not capable of starting over again..." she warned.

"There is nothing I can do. What has been ordained MUST be." He stepped forward, approaching Dean, "When he remembers what the world needs, he will do what must be done."

Enki sat still watching the angel approach, his fingers extended. He felt the warmth of the human vessel's hand as his fingers touched his forehead.

"As I tried to tell my queen Cherub, there is nothing for you to unveil." Enki smiled easily, "The Ifrit was thorough."

"There has to be something," Sam protested drawing the deity's attention, "Please Enki, there has to be something in there."

Dean's hand fell to his shoulder, "I'm sorry my son." He shook his head as Castiel touched his forehead again, his expression confused and a little unnerved.

Ina stepped forward smiling coldly, "Go back home and tell your superiors to clean up their own mess and put a stop to this!"

The angel turned, a flicker of anger twitching his mouth, "They can't stop it. No one but Dean can stop Lucifer now that he is free."

"You know that's not true." She sighed, "Besides he's free because of the manipulations of your PRIDEFUL superiors! They have purposefully brought destruction onto your father's creations! How _dare_ you stand by and do nothing..."

"That is ENOUGH!" Castiel barked, "You have nothing to do with any of this female! With _your_ pride and wanton..."

"I remember when you were a FIERCE advocate of your God's rights!" she yelled, "You've become a lap dog Castiel!"

"And you're little better than a succubus!" he spat.

"Oooh," Enki winced and shook his head, "He should not have said that," glancing at Sam, "especially considering what the first one did to you, he should know better."

"What do you mean he should know better?"

"Oooh," Dean winced, forcing their attention back to the other two just as Castiel's host went flying off the porch and crashing into Bobby's car where the metal of the front fender seemed to fold around him.

"That's my CAR you idjits!" the older hunter hollered angrily.

Ina raced down the steps grasping the angel by the trench coat and yanking him to his feet, "It doesn't matter that they can't stop it you ignorant pup!" she tossed him across the yard then followed and picked him up again, "what's important is that _they_ know _we_ know what they've done!"

He grasped her hands from his coat, picked her up and threw her back toward the porch where she careened into and through the trellis.

"Tearin' down my house!" Bobby got to his feet but Dean's hand fell onto his forearm.

"This has been brewing a while... they're almost done."

Standing in the yard Castiel motioned toward the hole drawing Laura's body back out into the open.

She recovered quickly, regaining her footing so the two were toe to toe, each of them clasping each other's clothes in tight fists while their eyes blazed into each others'. "Just... tell... them." She panted.

"It won't matter." He reiterated.

She leaned forward, her face millimeters from his, "I am aware of what we handed the world over to," she nodded as their hands relaxed and they stood apart.

"Can _you_ get his memories back?" he asked flicking his eyes to Dean.

She shook her head, "I don't know. Dean is a good man Castiel. He didn't deserve this."

"I know," he nodded faintly, "but we both know that it _had_ to be a righteous man." He agreed then turned her away from the others and confided softly, "Since this all began our forces have been one step behind and now that which we feared has come to pass."

"A word of advice cherub?" she asked then continued after he grunted, "Find out who the other betrayers are in your ranks and what their true motives are. Why have they set in motion what they have? What's the purpose behind it all."

"Their purpose is serving the father's purpose."

"Are you 100 percent certain of that? Have you never had a single doubt about any of the angels above you?" she asked and continued when he didn't answer, "Do you love your father?"

"My every action seeks to honor him."

"As you always have."

"Yes." He nodded.

"Then you can only serve his purpose by getting to the root of this and having faith that all things will work out as they're supposed to. That doesn't mean that you can sit back on your feathered ass and wait for it all to happen, you have to take steps to do what's right. To do nothing is the same as supporting those who may very well be working against his will."

"Don't you think I know that?" he hissed.

"So do SOMEthing."

"What if it's the wrong thing?"

"It doesn't matter," She shrugged, "Your father's not home, it's up to you to defend his house."

He turned to face her fully once more, "You paved the way for them to save this world from an outside force. Do whatever you can so he can save it from an inside one."

"Lucifer is your father's battle NOT ours!" she snarled.

"And Dean Winchester is the keeper of _your love's soul_! If there is a way... fix him." He ordered before winging off into the night. _"And don't call me cherub."_ His voice whispered into her ear bringing a smirk to her face.

OOooOO

Tbc.

Please R&R.

Thanks.

Sifi.


	7. Chapter 7

John Doe – chpt 7.

By: sifi.

OOooOO

"Do you know each other because of the pact?" Sam asked as they seemed to soar down the highway back toward the city and the abandoned high school where hopefully they could recover some bit of the Ifrit's corpse. It was the first time that Sam could ever recall hoping they'd been too rushed to do the job right.

"I've already told you all that you need to know my son." Ina sighed but smiled nonetheless.

"Come on! I have a right to know y'know! And I'm not Marduk I'm Sam." He stressed.

Dean shook his head smiling as he patted Sam on the shoulder, "Why do you insist on being so segregationist?"

"ME!" Sam nearly choked, "If you two weren't such... such... SNOBS, we wouldn't be in this mess! You'd hand over what you know! You'd give them access to your knowledge and we wouldn't have to hope for some speck of friggin' DNA to help rebuild a lifetime of memories for them!" he argued, then shook his head and continue, "AAAAANNNNDDD since it sounds a helluva lot like y'all know what's coming up here, as in 'end of days' wise and it DOESN"T sound like you're willing to lend a FINGER to help save the world!" he stormed, "It sounds to me like you're the ones being idiots!"

"Sounds like someone could use a romp with the liiioooonnns." Ina grinned stroking her fingers through Sam's hair from the back seat, "I hear they keep collections of animals... would you like to go play with some..."

"NO I don't wanna play with the LIONS!" he barked, "I wanna know how the hell you know Castiel and what the hell the PACT is that you were talking about and why you won't help Dean and Laura!"

She sighed, "How we know Castiel doesn't matter. He's several thousand years old, there aren't many left that are that old."

"Why do you have a beef with him?" he asked.

"His linearity makes me cranky." She shrugged.

Sam stopped to think then bounced his head in a 'yes/no' fashion, "I could see that... still bullshit, that's not why you have a beef with him."

She leaned forward craning her head around the head rest and took his ear between her lips sending goosebumps and shivers through the young man, "Why don't you ask Marduk instead of us. He knows these things already. He's part of you Sam," she slid her lips down the side of his head to his neck, puckering small patches of his tingling skin. From the other seat Enki watched grinning brightly, "all you have to do is ask him. He's a reasonable King."

Sam gritted his teeth against a groan all the while trying to keep his eyes on the road and his mind on traffic instead of the agonizing bliss of her mouth on his skin, "Please stop... oh God please stop." _Don't stop! EVER!_ He panted.

"The boy wants you Ina." Enki smirked with Dean's mouth, "You could soothe him I think far more than a romp with the lions."

"Oh God..." Sam groaned.

Ina grinned hugely at Enki and draped her arms over the seat and Sam's chest, "Pull over." She whispered into his ear, "Marduk sleeps, according to your standards there'd be nothing to stop you from finding comfort. I know the pain you hold so tight to your breast, I know how you cringe from your own reflection and I can soothe you."

With a flick of his finger the impala began to move to the right, sliding over to the shoulder of the road and slowing to a gentle stop.

Sam tossed the gearshift into park and leaned his head back giving the woman behind him access to his neck as her lips trailed down it and her hand slid into his shirt flicking tantalizingly over his pebbled nipple.

In the next seat over Enki leaned toward the young man, "She IS the goddess of love my son, let her heal you." He smiled lasciviously.

Sam groaned, his head felt stuffed with cotton, common sense lay senseless somewhere deep within him as her touch sparked heat and fire and wanting in every fiber of his being.

_I can't, it's wrong... Oh Goddess... He's my brother... she's his._

"Love can heal even killing wounds." Enki reached over and gave a gentle shove to the younger man's shoulder, encouraging him as he unclasped the seatbelt and turned, grasping the woman with firm intent and pressing his mouth to hers while her hands roamed searing his skin beneath his shirts. With almost serpentine alacrity he slid into the back seat sprawling hotly over her, his mouth and hands ravenous as he began to consume anything she was willing to offer.

_He's watching. I don't care, "it's a beautiful natural act Sam." Dean's voice reminded him._ He gasped moving his lips along her jawline to her throat while one of her hands twined in his hair and the other slid beneath the waistband of his jeans. His breath stuttered, nearly frozen by the intimacy of her hand on the flesh of his hip and whimpered when she slid it even further, tracing his line up to the small of his back.

"Huh... god please..." he panted opening her shirt and pressing his mouth to her chest, lips tracing the center swell of her breast to the lace of her bra. His hands moved over her, cupping her springy flesh tenderly, moving back and forth between them, nipping, tasting and touching them hungrily, oblivious to Enki in the front passenger seat smiling easily while watching love being made.

_I need to stop, it's not right..._ he panted as his lips pursed at the base of her belly button. His fingers locked for a moment in the waistband of her jeans, then as she raised her hips up, he shimmied them down, covering her with himself. His hands slid beneath her stroking and grasping as she slid her pants off one leg then sat up, grasping his jeans and setting him free in frighteningly few motions.

"God, oh god oh god... please this isn't ... right..." he whimpered against her mouth while the feel of her naked skin on his destroyed his control.

"Do you want to stop?" she asked with her tongue tracing his ear.

"No, never... ever... please no." he shook his head wrapping his hands beneath her and pulling her tight against him. He breathed her deep into him gasping into the night as her fingers slid over the curve of his buttocks on either side, her hand clutching him just right, moonlight shone on his face as his eyes blinked open and fell on the rapturous smile on his big brother's face watching from the front seat.

_I can't, _he realized and fought his body's flaring agony as he lowered himself, his head coming to rest, his breath panting hard and heavy on her chest, the crushing screaming fire in his loins whimpered as he collected himself shaking his head against her body, reveling in the comfort of her scent and warmth, "I can't," he breathed shakily, wrapping his arms under her, holding her close but now for a different purpose, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." he breathed pressing his lips to her flesh while he trembled in her embrace, "God help me I want you so much but I can't..." his whisper hitched just before a series of sobs tore out of him and he collapsed atop her.

Wordless, Enki sighed softly and reached over the seat ruffing the young man's hair gently.

"Love," Ina sighed beneath him, searching his eyes while caressing his face, his chest, and his back in turn, "You have such wonders to offer, don't squander them on someone who can't love you the way you deserve."

He buried his face in her neck, raising his hips up just enough for her to right his briefs and close his jeans while tears poured out of his eyes, down her back and onto the leather seats. Her arms closed around him, her lips gently touching the side of his head while he clung to her and shook until he was exhausted.

OOooOO

"Do you know where to go?" She asked softly, glancing into the back seat where Sam lay on his side with his knees in his chest sleeping more restfully than he had in months.

"Dean remembers." He smiled glancing at the young man in the back seat, "You did well my queen, do you think he'll be able to heal now?"

She nodded tracing a path down his jaw and neck with a finger, "I believe the vixen will be able to finish the job. Though _you_ will undoubtedly have to finish _me_ later love, the boy is... mmm, intoxicating." She grinned.

"So it appeared," he smiled at her while guiding the car off the expressway and onto a city street that would lead them to the high school. "I'm almost sorry he felt the need to stop, it's been too long since I've watched you enjoy rapture from someone else." He shrugged and made his way to a nearby side street on the next block then put it in park, "I'm not sure how Dean would have liked it though, especially since he doesn't remember having had her body before."

"Enki," she sighed grasping his hand and kissing his palm, "the one to remember, it has to be Dean."

"I know." He nodded.

"The emissary is too far from human, it would take too much. These boys are not careless." She hissed angrily, "Damn that God of his! How DARE they use your vessel in such a way!" she cursed.

He held her hand gently, "Easy my love. Their god has his own ways, don't forget we tested more than our share of the 'faithful' as well."

She groaned, "I get aggravated when you're right." She capitulated.

"I know." He smiled then nodded again, "Do you think he can help her remember?"

She grinned leaning forward her hand snaking behind his head while her lips captured his, "Love can heal even killing wounds. If anyone can, it's Dean. And even if he can't... she loves him enough already to die for him again if need be."

"Good." He smiled before drinking her in for several long minutes, "Later I'll bring you to tears of delight." He promised then reached into the back seat and shook the young hunter gently. "We're here Sam."

He stretched and yawned, "Mmm had the weirdest dream."

OOooOO

"So it wasn't a dream?" Sam asked feeling his tummy start to twitch uncomfortably while he gathered the ashen remains of the Ifrit into a bowl.

"No." Enki smiled drawing a three foot in diameter sized pentagram on the floor in Dean's blood.

"Oh god... Dean's gonna hate me." Sam groaned.

"Why? You didn't do anything." Enki shook his head.

"A hair's breadth away dude! Seriously! LITERALLY!" Sam argued, "A guy doesn't DO that! It's not right!"

"Your brother loves you Sam, and I _am_ in a position to be relatively certain that neither of you have stumbled upon _The_ _Thing_ that could change that."

"Is he gonna know? I mean when we get his memory back?"

"Yes."

"Oh man."

Enki stood before the young man, catching his attention and motioning to Ina who sat cross legged deep in meditation, "Do you still desire her?" he asked.

Sam contemplated the question, eyeing her speculatively. His skin tingled everywhere their bodies had touched and yet the inferno that screamed for her seemed indeed to have been quenched. "No. Not really."

"Then you are on your way to healing, and your brother will be grateful for that." He turned and squeezed a small stream of Dean's blood into the jar of ashes.

"Don't bleed him out Enki, I need him." Sam admonished frowning tightly at the seeming carelessness that the deity exhibited, "What about Laura, don't you think you should save some for her?"

"My queen made the choice already. There isn't enough for the two of them."

"WHAT!" Sam barked drawing Ina's attention. "You can't do that!"

"She already knows she loves Dean again. When he regains his memories it _is_ possible, due to the nature of her gifts that she may be able to share his. Your instincts back at your friend's house were excellent. You just didn't consider waking me." She explained.

"Why _did_ you awaken?" he asked, "I mean with a kiss instead of when she could have used you to save her all that pain and fear and ... everything?" his voice cracked with the pleading in it.

She chuckled easily, dipping her finger into the paste in the jar and mixing it around while Enki stripped out of Dean's shirts and sat cross legged in the center of the pentagram with his hands resting on his knees palms up. She knelt before her king and after a deep promise filled kiss, began to draw symbols on him.

OOooOO

"Dean!" Sam called, his hands wrapped firmly around the back of his brothers neck, holding him just enough to keep the convulsions from cracking his head open against the gym floor. "Come on Dean! Breathe man, just breathe please!" he ground through clenched teeth meeting eyes with Ina as she tried to keep his body stabilized.

Her mouth moved in otherwise silent prayer and Sam would have bet that if she'd been speaking aloud, it would have been in the first language, and he would have known exactly what she was saying.

Slowly beneath their hands Dean's quaking slowed, his throaty grunting and convulsing tapered off as the memories of his lifetime came crashing back like an energy meteor exploding into the man. Sweat poured out of him and depending on whatever he might be remembering, his breathing and occasionally his heart beat stopped. The only thing that kept the youngest Winchester from completely losing it the first time it happened was the tense but certain look on the woman's face, as if her faith alone could keep him moving through the memories of his trials and bring him back to her.

His body fell still and they waited.

He ripped a lung full of air from the world, his arms pressing back against the flooring while his back bowed upward, muscles straining and veins wide and beating to accommodate his body's need as the most unearthly wail shook the air and shattered the windows of the gymnasium. Flames erupted around, over and through him, throwing Sam and Ina backward yet didn't leave a mark, bones cracked gruesomely and healed, killing rends and all his scars shredded and split him then miraculously knitted all the while he screamed and bucked, he cursed and pleaded and cried, and as the hours crawled from evening until those of the 'wee' variety he began to breathe and calm.

When daylight shone its hazy whiteish yellow through the wire covered windows he stretched and looked left then right, his heart lifted by the sight of the two people he loved most in the world wrapped protectively around him, each of them with an arm draped from either side, over his torso.

"Kinky." He smiled softly then cleared his throat and gently tapped them each on the shoulder.

On his right side Sam stretched then raised his head and frowned into his brother's smiling face, "Good morning sunshine..." he smiled looking down at the young man's arm over his chest, "You do know I love you too right Sam?" he asked chuckling at the confusion on the young man's face, "Get off me." he ordered easily chuckling again as Sam rolled hastily away then scrambled to his feet.

OOooOO

"Ow Deeeeaannn! Come oooon! I already said I was sorry!" Sam squirmed trying to pull out of the headlock the older man had him in. The top of his head burned from where Dean continued rubbing his knuckle into his scalp.

"Swear it Sammy! So help me God!"

"I SWEAR Dean I SWEAR! So help me God I'll never touch her like that again! I SWEAR!" he panted as the older man finally released him.

Dean pointed at him sternly, "You do and you're gonna have a lot more than a nuclear nuggie to worry about little brother!"

Rubbing the feeling back into the top of his head Sam nodded while trying to suppress a grateful smile. _I don't know how I got so lucky with a brother like you man... thank God though. _

"So how are you feeling?" he asked flopping into one of Bobbys' porch chairs and propping his feet up on the railing.

"Better," Sam nodded pulling up a chair beside him, "Look I know you've been worried about me since the whole Lilith... thing..."

"That's an understatement."

Sam nodded again, "You don't have to be anymore, just so you know. We'll handle Lucifer when the time is right..."

"It doesn't work like that Sammy," Dean glanced out of the corner of his eye, "I can't just shut it off cause YOU say everything's okay now, especially when I know it's still just about as far from okay as it can be."

The younger man sighed but listened as Dean continued, "You've got a human woman out there pregnant with _your_ kid that was conceived while she was inhabited by one of the first demons, and there's not a damned thing you can do about it cause right now, mother and child are both mortal, and for all you know... human. You don't know what's gonna be born and it's scaring the shit out of you and if my guess is right, and since I AM the older brother... it MUST be, part of you is trying to rush headlong to flush out and face Lucifer to keep you from going stir crazy wondering what's going to happen when that kid is born."

Sam sighed but otherwise kept silent while giving a nod, admitting that Dean was right.

"And to make matters even worse... you're lonely as hell. I mean we both know I'm great company, but I'm not the kind of company you're hurting for."

"Mm," Sam agreed.

"Sammy," Dean turned to the younger man, "I think you need a vacation."

From the road a ruby red sedan pulled into the driveway creeping slowly toward the house, "And I think you owe the both of you a chance to see if you really want a relationship that's more than just sex."

"What did you do Dean?" Sam asked sitting up straight, straining his eyes toward the car.

The older man sighed and pulled an envelope out of his pocket handing it to Sam who opened it up and blinked at him surprised.

"It's not like it's a two week getaway or anything, just a cheap-o package for four days and three nights down in Playa Del Carmen. I hear they've got some awesome ruins and lots of educational cultural stuff for a geek boy like you. And Kitsune's smart... hell she likes you doesn't she? I think you'll enjoy spending the time with someone who LIKES that kind of shit."

"You're sending me away?" he asked smiling openly at the woman as she exited the car.

Dean shrugged, "Just sewing a little elastic into the apron strings." he smiled gently, "You need a break Sam. And you deserve it," he waved at Kitsune then rose to his feet as Bobby joined them on the porch with Sam's bag in hand, "Hey," Dean said clapping Sam on the shoulder, "I don't want you gone... but get out of here... I gotta try and help Laura get her memory back anyway."

"Hello Dean," Kitsune greeted demurely, "Bobby San," then turned to Sam smiling brightly, her eyes full of hope as she took the young man's hands gently, "Hello Sam."

Warmth rushed through the youngest Winchester as he leaned down wrapping his arms around her and gently pressing his smile to hers, "Kitsune." He sighed holding her tenderly.

OOooOO

"You owe me some tears of delight my king." Ina stopped and turned to face Dean. All around them over grown grasses waved in the gentle breeze reminding Dean of the first time he and Laura had kissed. _It was right in this general vicinity... dad was still alive then... and the biggest concern we had was tracking down Azazel... how did things get so... thick? _He wondered.

"I think that's Enki's job," he smiled raising her hand to his lips, "Do you think I can help Laura get her memory back?" he asked.

"I think you can."

"When you chose to give me MY memories back, you and Enki said she was too far from human..." his breath shuddered as he squeezed her hands fearfully, "tell me..."

She smiled and stroked his cheek, "She is the woman you have loved since the beginning, that's all that matters."

He shook his head, "There's so much... how can a simple guy like me measure up?"

"Do you still understand so little?" she asked.

He smiled softly and shook his head, _if the situation was reversed I couldn't help but still love her too. I DO understand._ "No, I get it."

"Good."

He scratched his head, "Y'know... not that I don't enjoy your company but... can I have my girl back?"

Ina raised up pressing her lips to his, "Make her weep with ecstasy."

Dean blushed deeply, "I'll do my best." He grinned, "Thank you Inanna." He nodded, "And for helping Sam too."

"You are welcome my king."

In a blink and with a subtle shift in facial expression he knew Laura was back and the deity within had gone back to sleep.

"That was very strange." Laura smiled.

"Do you remember anything?"

She blushed deeply, "I remember her helping Sam understand his need," she swallowed hard, "and no offense to him but I remember wishing it was you instead." She glanced up afraid of what she might see, but glad for the look of amusement on his face.

"Enki was getting a little too much enjoyment watching... You know Sam never would have hurt you right?"

"I know," she nodded, her breath coming shorter and faster as she leaned forward, her hands on his chest, "Dean with your memories back I have to ask... do you want me?"

The smile that lit his face filled her heart, "More than ever." He leaned down to sweep her lips then rested them at her ear, "I am _dying_ to make love to you."

He smiled when she blushed the most vivid pink rose color he'd ever seen and his skin quickened when her hand slid tentatively down his chest, his belly quaked in the wake of her finger's passage and his loins jumped as she traced his brazen outline.

Her eyes turned up meeting his, "For me?" she asked stroking his length.

"Only for you." He smiled letting her lead the way to the soft grassy ground, eager to bring delight to the woman he loved.

OOooOO

END.

Please R&R.

Thanks.

Sifi.

A/N – The setting for the final scene of this fic is courtesy of Maz101 and the reminder of the first kiss that began their romance. Thanks Maz! As for all of you who've stuck with me and the stories that insist on being written I am so grateful for the encouragement, the props, the 'I dont' get its' the EVERYTHING that has help and continues to help make me a better story teller! I am truly and deeply blessed to have such wonderful friends! Love and blessings to all!

:D You Rock!

Humbly and gratefully yours.

sifi


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